Time Doesn’t Stand Still

Sunday evenings have a way of making you slow down. They make you sit with your thoughts, whether you are ready to or not.

Tonight, I am sitting in what I lovingly call my “bitch cave.” It is my escape from the world. The place where I can turn on my music, let the songs fill the room, and just be. The lights are low, the music is playing, and for a little while, everything outside these four walls can wait.

As I look around this room, I am surrounded by years of memories. Music memorabilia collected over the years. Pieces of my life that each hold a story. Concert memories. Bands I have met. Artists who inspired me. Friends I have made because of music. Moments that I never realized at the time would become memories I would hold onto forever.

Music has given me so much.

It has brought me friendships I never expected. It has taken me places I never imagined. It has introduced me to people who became like family. It has been there during my happiest moments and during some of my hardest ones.

I look around this room and I think about all the people who have been part of this journey. The friends who are still here. The friends who have gone their separate ways. The friends who have left this earth. Every person leaves behind a piece of themselves, and every memory becomes something we carry with us.

Then I turn and look at my bed, and in the corner lies an old, fragile beagle curled up.

Buster.

Looking at him reminds me how quickly time moves.

There was once a time when two beagles and a pug filled this room with their personalities, their chaos, their love, and their presence. Now there is only one beagle left.

And that realization hits harder than I want it to.

Because time is something we never get back.

It reminds me how precious every moment really is. How we should never take anything for granted. The people we love, the animals who give us unconditional love, the experiences we are lucky enough to have.

Just like our pets, just like our friends, just like our favorite musicians and heroes, time doesn’t hold on for us.

Our heroes leave this earth. The voices that once filled arenas become recordings. The concerts become memories. The people who gave us so much through their music are gone, but their songs remain.

And those songs become reminders of who we were, where we were, and who we shared those moments with.

Maybe that’s why tonight feels different.

Because I have realized that I have let time slip by.

I look in the mirror sometimes and see someone I don’t recognize anymore. Someone who has watched time slowly take away the youth I once had. Someone who has experienced loss, change, disappointment, and challenges that I never expected.

There are dreams that have come and gone.

Moments I wish I could go back to.

Voices I wish I could hear one more time.

Concerts I wish I would have attended.

Friends I wish I would have visited.

Things I wish I would have said.

But even with all of that, I am grateful.

Grateful for the time I have been given.

Grateful for the opportunities I have had.

Grateful for every band, every artist, every friendship, and every person music has brought into my life.

Those moments shaped me.

They made me who I am.

But as time keeps moving forward, it has made me want more than ever to truly live.

I want to stop waiting.

I want to stop letting fear make decisions for me.

I want to start my podcast instead of finding reasons why I can’t.

I want to get on that airplane, even though flying terrifies me, and take my mom’s ashes to California so she can finally be where she belongs.

I want to visit my family there. I want to stand on the coastline, I want to visit the Sunset Strip and go to the Whiskey, the place my mom went. I want to go visit the place where my parents gave me life.

I want to spend more time with the people who matter.

I want to create more memories while I still have the chance.

Because one day memories are all we have left.

There are also dreams I have pushed aside for too long.

I need to start making more of my crystal bracelets and actually put them out into the world. I need to stop questioning whether people will like them and start creating because it brings me joy.

I need to get back to working with more bands.

Whether that means booking, managing, promoting, interviewing artists, or simply being someone who helps musicians share their stories, that is where my heart has always been.

Music has never just been something I listen to.

Music has always been a part of who I am.

The truth is, fear has gotten louder than my dreams.

Fear of failing.

Fear of being judged.

Fear of wondering if I am too old to start something new.

But what is scarier?

Trying and failing, or never trying at all?

I have also learned that getting older changes something inside of us.

For most of my life, I never cared what people thought about me. I was comfortable being myself.

But lately, I have struggled.

Breaking my front tooth and having to wait months to get it fixed has affected me more than I expected. Every time I look in the mirror, I notice it. It has affected my confidence. Add in getting older, the changes in my appearance, and seeing a reflection that doesn’t always match the person I still feel like inside.

It takes a toll.

I know our worth isn’t defined by how we look. I know the people who truly love us don’t judge us by our imperfections.

But that doesn’t mean those insecurities don’t exist.

Maybe I have spent too much time focusing on what I think I have lost instead of everything I still have left to give.

Because time has taken things from me, but it has not taken my passion.

It has not taken my creativity.

It has not taken my love for music.

It has not taken my ability to inspire others.

I know I am not the only person who feels this way.

I think many of us reach a point where we look back and realize how fast life has moved. We think about the music, the people, the lovers, the friends, the family, and all the moments that helped shape us.

We need to remember to be grateful.

But we also need to remember that we have the power to make changes.

It is still in our hands.

Sometimes I wish time would stand still for just a little while. Just long enough for me to find my way back to myself. To the person who chased dreams, who believed in possibilities, and who wasn’t afraid to take chances.

And maybe that is why I am writing this.

Because I need to remind myself that I have a choice.

Why would I go back to a toxic work environment where I feel unhappy and drained, when I have the opportunity to try to build something around the things I love?

Why not spend my energy creating?

Why not put my heart into my podcast, my bracelets, music, writing, and helping artists?

It won’t be easy.

There are no guarantees.

But neither is tomorrow.

Maybe this blog was never really meant for anyone else.

Maybe I wrote this because I needed to convince myself.

I needed to remind myself that I can do this.

That it is not too late.

That my story is not over.

Time may never stand still.

But I can choose how I spend the time I have left.

So here’s to the memories that shaped us, the people who touched our lives, the music that saved us, the pets who loved us unconditionally, and the dreams that are still waiting.

Maybe it is time to stop being afraid.

Maybe it is time to start living like it matters.

Peace, Love and Loud Music,

Mickey

https://youtu.be/dMSFqXGZ5TQ?is=h6JSTGa3m5ZYUiTo