Yesterday Was Heavy, Today Is Survival Mode
- Mickey Miller
- Jun 1, 2025
- 3 min read
Some days feel like too much to carry—and yesterday was one of them.
I saw family yesterday. It reminded me of so much—our roots, our history, what we’ve been through and lost, and how time has changed us. It was supposed to be a good day, and for the most part, it was. There were laughs and hugs, and it felt good to be around people who share the same blood. But even good days can carry hurt.
There was a hiccup: a long wait for a table at the place we planned to eat. My two kids, Kira and Austin, along with their significant others, found another restaurant nearby and had a table waiting there. My brother and his boys chose to stay and wait at the original place. Because of that, my kids missed out on what was supposed to be a family reunion. We were split, and I felt torn in half. It might sound small to someone else, but for me, it was heartbreaking. Time together is rare—and we missed our moment.
And maybe that’s what cut the deepest. You don’t get those moments back.
Now, my brother—the only sibling I have left—is dealing with health issues. Our parents are gone. It’s just the two of us now. And even though we’ve had a complicated relationship, he’s started opening up to me. Maybe because there’s no one else. But I’d be lying if I said it didn’t mess with my head. Because my brother has said some truly horrible things to me in the past. Words I can’t forget. Words that left wounds.
Yet here I am—still showing up, still listening, still caring. Because that’s what I do. I feel everything. I carry it all. Being an empath means I put others before myself, even when it hurts. Even when it’s someone who’s hurt me. And honestly, my mind is so tired. My heart is heavy.
And then, life throws another blow—I’m going to be garnished for medical bills from two years ago. Bills I didn’t even know existed. Bills I thought insurance had taken care of. And now, when I can barely afford to live, most of my paycheck will be taken. It’s not just unfair—it’s paralyzing.
That’s the moment I wanted to scream.
Curl up in a corner and just scream.
Not because I’m weak—but because I’ve been strong for way too long.
Because I’m overwhelmed. Because the fight feels never-ending.
Because I just want something—anything—to go right.
Why am I going through all this?
Why am I always struggling?
How will I stay afloat?
Why can’t things just go good for once?
This has pushed me into a spiral. I feel like I’m barely hanging on. The weight of it all—family, finances, past pain, present fear—it’s overwhelming. And no matter how hard I fight, life keeps testing me.
Still, I’m here. Still breathing. Still pretending to be okay when I’m not. Because that’s what survival looks like for some of us.
If you’re reading this and you’re in your own storm—hurting, drowning, hanging on by a thread—I see you. I feel you. You are not alone.
🖤
If this hit home for you, drop a comment. Share your story. Or just know my inbox is always open.
This space, Harmony Heartbeat, is a safe place for the ones who feel too much and carry more than they should have to.
We may be struggling, but we’re still standing. And that? That’s real strength.
🎙️ P.S. – The Harmony Heartbeat podcast is coming soon.
On June 7th, I’ll be interviewing a very famous musician, and I’m so excited to share it with you. The episode will drop in the following weeks—and we’ll be getting back to what makes this all worthwhile: music, life and everything in between.
Peace, Love and Loud Music,
Mickey
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